I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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