there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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