im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
