that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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