ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
