i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
