They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
