woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
