the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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