nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
