I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
