nutella sex= disaster
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I love you. Go after that dick
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