He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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