Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Fuck appropriateness.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
