My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
