I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
