at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
