dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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