my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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