you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you will always have a special place in my vag
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
