I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize