Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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