and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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