Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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