yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
