and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
