doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
