don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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