Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
