Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
