Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize