I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Bring me that man meat
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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