I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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