How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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