She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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