Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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