Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
