Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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