okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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