If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
