the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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