break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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