Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
