My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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