The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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