I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
