is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
