Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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