Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
