She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
