party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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