I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
