I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
