i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
