Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
