You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
