btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
