Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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