You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize