:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
