Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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