Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
