yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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