oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I need moral support for this bender
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
