Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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