I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
