Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize